this semester has been one of my craziest in terms of work load for school, so much so that I have been incredibly inconsistent/bad about reading my Bible. I keep (kind of) trying to think of a good time to fit it in, but it never really works out.

for some reason the last couple mornings, I keep waking up somewhere between fifteen minutes and an hour before I need to wake up. some of it has been due to my roommate waking up and banging around a bit, but otherwise I don't know why it's happening. it's also not an "oh, I'm going to doze and go back to sleep" sort of deal; I'm pretty awake right when I wake up.

I initially was just going to waste time on the Internet the first time it happened, but I got a Holy Spirit nudge to read my Bible and pray a bit, so I did. it was awesome. so I think I'll keep doing it.

the funny thing is that a year ago I prayed pretty consistently for awhile that if God wanted me to wake up in the middle of the night and pray, that He would wake me up so I could. I also prayed all the time for dreams and visions from Him. both things happened.

I didn't really pray for God to wake me up earlier so I could read my Bible and pray, but if I would've, maybe I could've started this sooner. I won't beat myself up over it... but stuff like this is a good reminder that we don't necessarily ask God for the important things.

what kinds of things do I, and should I, ask God for?

do I ask for greater intimacy, but then not invest the time and effort (praying and reading... ) to knowing Him better and learning His voice? when I ask for greater intimacy, do I just generally wish for it but not ask God for the means to put it into practice? instead, do I waste time asking God to help me accomplish the menial school and work tasks that I have to do during the day? (not that these are completely irrelevant, but I don't think they will be the things God focuses on when we get to heaven.)

and maybe if I just spent more time with Him, I wouldn't have so many freak-out I-have-way-too-much-stress-in-my-life moments, because I would know His peace better, trust Him more, and worry much, much less about trivial things that don't have much, if any, eternal value.

hmm.