it is odd to think that I am currently in my last semester of college. and though I can definitely feel some symptoms of seniorities welling up, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to stick things out alright until May.

one thing I've so far this semester, though, is this: the only way I will ever go to grad school is a) if someone really wants to pay me to go, or b) I cannot fathom moving on in life without having one. and let me tell you, both of those possibilities are extremely slim. this semester I feel that, since I'm enrolled in mostly senior level classes, I'm getting a taste of what grad school would be like... and honestly, it feels somewhat like I am teaching myself. I have been told by grad students in some of these classes that this is mostly the format of grad-level classes. out of five classes and fifteen credits, there are only two courses that I feel the teachers offer any real insight in... maybe one, actually. I am not used to taking classes that consist of massive amounts of preparatory reading, followed by long discussions in class about the reading and very minimal instruction or lecture. frankly, I feel like I could prepare my own course of study on every one of the subjects I'm learning about, if I so desired; and obviously, I wouldn't necessarily learn the same things that my instructors hope to teach me, but I would probably get a decent general understanding of whatever subject I decided to learn about. by the way, supposedly this whole "read 75 pages for one class period, then we'll talk about it for almost the whole class" thing is supposed to foster critical thinking, so I've heard. well whatever, I don't by it. you should be able to think critically by about mid to late freshman year, in my opinion... at my school, they make freshman take certain classes for this very reason. I would rather hear an interesting lecture and think on that than read one person's perspective in an article and have to fish around to find out what other people think about the subject.

I will say that this semester is helping me realize that I probably picked a really suitable major for myself. I feel silly sometimes when people ask what I'm studying, and I say, "Conservation Social Science;" and they say,  "huh... what's THAT?" and I have no succinct response... but there are very few other majors I know of that are so broad and diverse in their coursework. I have thought of majoring in a few different things, but it seems that most majors like English, history, art or science all revolve around a similar format and similar material. I have taken classes on management and planning, politics and policy, history, research methods, leadership concepts, ecology, plant identification, and others. I have always liked the idea of knowing a little bit about a lot of things, and though that isn't necessarily ideal academically, I am glad to be leaving college with a broad base of knowledge about many things instead of a specialized knowledge of one subject. I am taking a history class right now in which the professor recently said that if he somehow couldn't do history anymore, he would be out of luck because he doesn't know how to do anything else. (and he doesn't actually seem to know how to do history very well...) I am glad that my major is broad and within that, flexible as well.

anyway... I will be glad to leave college after this semester. every once in awhile I think to myself that it'd be kind of nice to remain a student, to not have to think about all my school loans for a little while longer, to just enjoy life and put off the whole 9-5 job thing... then I remember that if I stay around much longer, all I'll be doing is wasting time, reading articles that won't change my life instead of reading the Bible, wasting money, and pretty much wasting my life away; because when it comes down to it, even though I see education as fairly valuable, there are not many things that I hate more than being in school.