| | this has been a strange year, I guess.
I feel like I don't really have friends anymore, at least none here in Moscow. I take the blame for it, pretty much. I started dating Willy in June, and frankly I like spending all my time with him. so basically I don't really hang out with other people. it doesn't bother me too much, except for the fact that I'm starting to really miss hanging out with girls. there's something about being with girls that is comforting and nice.
part of the problem is that I don't really know who else to hang out with besides him. lots of friends that I've had here have graduated or moved on. therefore, now I feel that the people I could hang out with are either busy all the time, or not necessarily relateable anymore. I realize that may sound like a lame excuse, but being that I haven't even been dating my fiance for a year, it is nice to hang out with people who have been in my shoes and who are willing to talk about relationships. because frankly, it's important, and it's hard to try not to talk about that with single people. I'm aware that they probably don't want to hear me blab about Willy 24/7. I'm definitely not saying that I can never talk with single people again, but right now I just feel like I need some comradery.
it kind of just sucks in general not having anyone who will call me up to hang out. I have a couple people who I could do that with, but it's definitely not as good as it could be with this people. I guess I'm just disappointed because I know what it's like to have super-close friends, and I haven't had that here, totally. I am very happy that I have Willy because he is definitely my best friend, but I like having girl friends, too. I guess I'm wondering though, is this what adult and married life is like? because while I long to have close girl friends again, I wonder how possible it is. I remember when my best friend Jenna got married, and the incidence of us talking and such definitely dwindled. I've just been experiencing something similar in which I have barely any girl friends who actually know what's going on with me. I'm just curious if this is sort of a phenomenon that happens when you get into a serious relationship, or if I am just lacking the kind of friends that make those close friendships possible.
I know that I should probably just buck up and try harder, but I am naturally drawn to people who I have (lots of) things in common with, and there are very few people in my life like that right now. and the people who are that way are usually somewhat busy or have other close friends that they hang out with. I am already in a relationship, and as those who are in a relationship know, that in itself requires work to understand and know each other. it'd be nice to just have some natural, fun friendships to grow into, but they seem harder to find as I get older.
sorry if I'm complaining. if anyone has any insight, advice or comments, feel free to offer them, even if it's just to say "buck up Elise, it's not so bad." I'm just tired of the way a lot of things in my life are operating at the moment, and this issue with friends is one that is especially bothersome.
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| | Posted 4/3/2009 1:09 AM - 9 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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